Image by George Eastman House via Flickr

Today more older brides walk down the aisle than ever before. There are many factors calling for the older brides saying their “I do.” We now live much longer lives – and are marrying later than brides of earlier years. Higher education is more widely available – and many delay marriage until they complete degrees. Additionally there are many second or third marriages taking places. These marriages most often happen when a bride is just a bit older and sometimes wiser.

It used to be there were somewhat strict etiquette and social rules that older brides were expected to follow. An older bride was “permitted” to get married – but she was to do so with little muss and fuss. Most older brides did not wear a fancy veil or a long white dress. A dressy light colored dress was often selected for their wedding. Even the celebration was somewhat toned down. It was expected that the older bride would want a more er, graceful celebration. But do today’s older brides have rules to follow?

The answer is yes and no. In every family, society and culture there may be certain expectations of a bride. No matter your age, you may be expected to do specific things or wear something because you are a bride. Quite often the great difference with the older bride is that she has stronger opinions about what she will and won’t do. Very often the younger bride has the wedding that is determined and approved of by her parents. The older bride has the wedding that is approved of by herself and the groom.

The older bride in most cases will pay for her own wedding or pay for it with help from the groom. This can have a great deal to do with the older bride having stronger opinions about what she does and does not want – it is after all her money and her choice to spend it on as she wishes. The bride’s parents when paying for a wedding may put their foot down subtlety and “suggest” things in a way that lets her know they are expected. An older bride is more likely to make her own choices.

Some may frown on the older bride who marries all in white, wearing a sparkly tiara and big flowing veil. But the older bride typically marries in what she chooses. If she desires to marry in the “princess” fantasy then this is what she will select. If the bride prefers another style for her wedding she will choose that instead.

A wedding may be a family affair but it is also traditionally the bride’s day. No one knows this more than the older bride. Your wedding is a day you’ll remember for the rest of the day with your beloved. You deserve to spend it as you choose, wearing what you like and enjoying the things you like the most. You could say that older brides make their own rules – we do!

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Short on cash or big on the idea of a casual, family friendly outdoor wedding?

The Perfect Picnic Wedding

Perfect if you are getting married in a park, backyard, or a tiny old church set in a big grassy field…

You could have a very small private ceremony in the church and then celebrate with a larger party of guests waiting to receive you outside. For a list of small churches in the US please visit roadsideamerica.com (image above is from this site).

Picnic Wedding Essentials

One of the most important items you will need – picnic blankets! Stick with tradition and pick red and white checkers, or find fabric that matches your wedding colors and make your own (you may find it less expensive to buy a large bolt of fabric and make your own anyways). You can buy the handmade one below at etsy.com for around $20 (and she offers a discount if you purchase more than one). These blankets could double as a wedding favor for each family that attends as well (you might have to come up with a contest to figure out who gets to take the blanket home for mixed picnic groups).

Deluxe Picnic

I wasn’t able to find a caterer in the US that provides this service, but in the UK you can pick up a biodegradable picnic basket filled with treats from the Arch House Deli in Bristol for less than $20 per person (converted from British pounds). Perhaps you could find a local catering company that would provide the picnic blankets and a picnic basket packed with goodies for each group of guests (let me know if you find any companies that do that!).

Picnic Event Tips

Don’t forget to be considerate of older guests and offer cushions as well as normal seating if necessary.

Provide picnic themed activities to keep the kids busy.

This cute picnic basket from bestpricetoys.com will be fun for younger children.

Plan for the weather

Bring large sun umbrellas, gazebos, and a play tent like the one below from Ikea to offer children some shade (or a quiet place to nap). You might want to bring something to weigh down the blankets if there is a chance that it will be windy. Make sure sunscreen and plenty of water is available for the guests.

Happy AND Healthy?

A health-conscious party can still be a lot of fun!

If you are organizing a pre-wedding  party for a bride who is either extremely health-consious, is dieting for her big day, or has eating restrictions due to an allergy or condition – you might consider catering your celebration to meet her needs so that she can enjoy herself.

Some of this is obvious: don’t throw a pig roast bachelor party for your friend if he’s a member of PETA or a vegetarian (or both). However, sometimes it’s not that clear. For most of us, fattening baked goods and fatty appetizers are so closely associated with parties that you wouldn’t even consider changing the menu for a friend. This won’t be appropriate for everyone, you will know if this is what your friend would prefer (and if you’re not sure, it is always wise to check). The last thing you want to do is offend the bride or groom.

Activities

Party activities should be exactly that: active. Include activities so that guests aren’t standing around eating the whole time and they are less likely to notice that the menu is a bit different. Make the stag party a hike instead of a pub crawl, if that’s what the guest of honor would prefer! Or, if the bride loves adventure – plan for a group of you to go skydiving.

Community Events

There are so many charity runs, walks, and cycling events out there you might consider honoring your guest of honor with an event that is appropriate to their achievements. Create a team and invite everyone to participate instead of the bridal shower, bachelor party, or bachelorette. Participants can donate money to the cause rather than purchasing a gift. Make t-shirts for everyone and have fun! Spread out a buffet at your house for after wards, or pack a picnic for everyone and meet at a nearby park. Family members who are unable to participate can cheer from the sidelines or might volunteer to help with the snacks after wards.

Fresh Ideas

If your party includes physical activity, make sure you provide lots of hydrating drinks. Water is always the best choice (but not that exciting). Glam it up by using fancy pitchers, like this one from thekitchenoutlet.com. You can make water more exciting by adding flavors.

Large fruit and vegetable platters are always a good idea. Salsas and hummus are healthier dip choices,  or look for healthy versions of your favorites such as this no mayo spinach dip posted at Recipezaar.com.