November 10 2011
An UN-hidden agenda: the DIY Wedding schedule
Tagged Under : best man, best men, big picture, dad, freelance writer, friends and family, hidden agenda, maids of honor, martini bar, master of ceremonies, nearby park, nephews, nieces, novel, venue, wedding ceremony, wedding planner, wedding rehearsal, wedding schedule, Weddings
I am now going to share something with you that is very valuable. It is the minute-by-minute schedule for a wedding ceremony and reception that went off without a hitch! When I created this, I was a Project Manager for a large corporation (I now work as a consultant – and as a freelance writer on the side).
If you’re not sure if you want to plan your own event, you should read two of my earlier posts at this blog: Planning Your Own Wedding: R-R-R-R-R-R-really? and Do I Need a Wedding Planner or Not?
Even if you are convinced that you are going to ‘do it yourself’, you might change your mind once you see the schedule below! Those involved in the event referred to it as “the novel” – it’s pretty long and detailed, but IT WORKED. Everyone involved received a copy with their responsibilities highlighted. We met and went through the document word for word about a week before the big day to make sure every one understood their role and how it fit into the big picture. I also tried to speak to each person one-on-one where it was possible. We didn’t really have a wedding rehearsal at the venue – we had everyone stand in their places and then we practiced leaving after the ceremony was over.
Some notes about the schedule below:
The wedding ceremony and reception took place at same venue, keeping our costs down. The martini bar opened immediately after the ceremony so guests stayed at the venue while we ran around the corner to a nearby park for pictures. I removed names due to privacy so you will see people are called “Best Man1″ or “Friend5″. Some people had two roles – for example, one of the Best Men was also the Master of Ceremonies (the wedding party was a bit different because it had two best men and two maids of honor.) Even with the double-duties, you can see that there were A LOT of friends and family involved (the wedding party, moms, a dad, brothers, sisters, 3 nieces, 2 nephews, 7 friends, and a dog).
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DECORATING |
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| 9:00 | Hall staff | Tables, chairs, mural, piano and sound system might already be set up by 9:00 if not we need to get the hall staff to do this asap! | |
| 9:00 | Bride | Bride arrives with Hall keys to let deliveries in | |
| 9:00 | Plant Rental Co. | Delivery of palm trees, cherry blossoms, grass, park bench – check off delivery to list | |
| By noon | Party Rentals | Delivery of tableware, linens, bar, stage. Check off delivery to list | |
| 9:00 | Groom | Loads up truck with stuff we have at house (decorations: centerpieces, lamps, flower boxes) | |
| 9:30 | DogWrangler & Friend1 | Pick up Dog – take extra stuff in their car if room, drop Dog off at home on way to hall | |
| 9:30 | Groom | Leaves home – drops off MominLaw at hair salon, goes to hall | |
| 10:00 | Friend2 MOH1 MOH2 BridesmaidFriend4 Friend3 DogWrangler Friend1? BM1 Groomsman BM2 | Decorators??
Friend2: – should have video stuff (i.e. tripod ) set up in correct spot so ready to go when returns, locate outlet for charger etc Groom: needs to hook up ipod to sound system |
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| 10:00 | Bridesmaid & Bride | Bridesmaid picks up Bride from hall and they go get flowers – Bride checks all is there against list | |
| 10:30 | DogWrangler | Picks up MominLaw from hair and drives her home (this can be anyone that is at the hall, could also be Friend1? who can then pick up Dog?) | |
| 11:00 | Mom | Comes by hall if she wants to help/look around | |
| 12:45 | Bride Bridesmaid MOH1 MOH2 Friend3 | Leave for hotel no later than 12:45 (hopefully earlier!) | |
| 1:00 | MakeupArtist Friend3 | MakeupArtist arrives at hotel | |
| 2:00 | Groom, groomsmen | Leave for BM1′s to get ready | |
| 2:00 | DogWrangler & Friend1 | Leave for DogWrangler’s to get ready | |
| 2:30 | Sister | Arrives at hall, last minute prep of hall, coordinates pianist (Niece2), Ushers (Nephew1 & Nephew2), Attendants (Niece3 & Niece1), Guests, Officiant, BrotherinLaw, Brother, Parents, etc. Also caterers, band, etc if necessary. Everyone who comes in will check in with you so you know who they are | |
| 2:30 | Niece2 | Checks that piano is ready to go, practices timing with stand-ins, helps with any decorating still going on (if time) | |
| 2:30 | Niece1, Niece3, Nephew1, Nephew2 | Arrives anytime between 2:30 and 15 minutes before the next time they see their name listed below, depending on schedules etc. I’m hoping they can show up by 3pm to help with last minute stuff, help Sister, and ‘hold the fort’.??
Nephew1 – work out with Sister the whole door thing; rehearse with Niece2 so that timing is correct. Figure out halfway point of room so you know when to wave the next person in to walk down the aisle. |
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| 2:30 | Friend2 | Gives Sister the download and then goes to BM1′s to get ready | |
| 3:00 | Photgrapher & Friend4 | Come by hotel to take photos | |
| 4:00 | Friend5 | Friend5 arrives, checks in with Sister, sets up sounds system, tests it. Reviews when music comes on/off. Ipod should be hooked up already. Review w Groom how it works. | |
| 4:00 | Friend2 | Return to hall, check in with Sister, make sure video stuff is still set up properly and ready to go for arrival of guests etc, confirm seating for ceremony | |
| 4:00 | Friend7 & Friend4, Friend5, Friend6 | Confirm set up of microphone etc for performance during ceremony (needs to work for cocktail hour, too), sound check for song sung during ceremony and friend’s band peforming song before dinner | |
| 4:15 | Photographer & Friend4 | Take photos outside hall | |
| 4:15 | Brother | Arrives at hall Gets envelope for Officiant (should be on Sister’s clipboard)??
Confirms with Friend5 what is happening re: songs during cocktail hour Confirms bar is ready to go right after ceremony (they should be shaking martinis as soon as the wedding party starts walking away from front of the hall) |
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| 4:15 | BrotherinLaw | Arrives at hall | |
| 4:30 | Photgrapher & Friend4 | Arrive at hall, check in w Sister. Photgrapher: Pictures inside hall – Groom with various, boutonnieres/corsages, etc Friend4: talk to Friend7 | |
| 4:30 | Groom and groomsmen | Return to hall, check in w Sister, and confirm standing positions for hall. | |
| 4:30 | Friend2 | Starts videotaping from his list | |
| 4:30 | Friend5 | As soon as Friend7 & Friend4 are finished w sound check, start music and play until Niece2 is ready to play piano (30 mins) | |
| 4:30 | Sister | Make sure people have their corsages, boutonnieres on??
Makes sure everyone is in their places when guests start to arrive Big Corsages – Mom, Mrs. B, Sister Smaller ones – Niece1, Niece2, Niece3 Boutonnieres – Brother, BrotherinLaw, Groom (red), BM1, BM2, Groomsman, Nephew1, Nephew2, DogWrangler, Mr B Punch bowl should be coming out soon and ready for guests |
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| 4:30 | Nephew1 and Nephew2 | #1 – Direct guests to coat area, give out programs, seat guests, provide info about reception seating (if asked).??
#2 – Help older ladies remove coats, coat hanging, direct guests to gift table, guest book table or seating, provide info about table seating (if asked). Both: Watch front door for weirdoes, thieves – you will have a copy of the guest list so you can confirm if any doubts J Both: Refer guests to Sister if they ask a question and you’re not sure Both: Should be the very last to leave your stations before the ceremony begins so you can wrangle latecomers **Needs copy of seating for ceremony and reception |
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| 4:30 | Niece1 and Niece3 | Explain how guest book cards work to guests, put out blank cards, arrange wishes in holders, make sure pens stay at table, arrange gifts on gift table, answer guest questions, provide information about seating (if asked), direct guests to punch bowl??
**Needs copy of seating for reception |
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| 4:30 | Dog Friend1? DogWrangler | Arrive at hall – Dog gets to hang out with Groom before ceremony so that he doesn’t freak out when he sees him when he’s walking down the aisle. Needs to go on little walk too. | |
| 4:30 | Officiant(JP), BrotherinLaw, Niece2, Friend7, Friend4 | (Officiant) arrives, checks in with Sister.??
BrotherinLaw, Niece2, Friend7 and Friend4 introduce themselves and go over ceremony |
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| 4:30 | Mom, Aunt1, Aunt2 | Arrive at Hall | |
| 4:30 | MOB, FOB??
Friend1? |
Arrive at Hall, Friend1 drives them | |
| 4:30 | Band | Band arrives with equipment | |
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PRE-CEREMONY |
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| 4:45 | Bride & Ladies | Bridesmaid will call once limo has arrived to check in with Sister about status at hall and say they are on their way. | |
| 4:45 | Sister | Sister alerts everyone that ladies are on the way. Makes sure everyone is in their places for ceremony | |
| 4:45 | Guests | Guests may start to arrive.??
They will hang up coats, sign guest book, drop gifts off at table, drink punch, read programs, find seats, etc. |
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| 5:00 | DogWrangler | DogWrangler goes outside and gets Dog dressed up – (anytime after 5 and before ceremony) | |
| 5:00 | Niece2 | Starts playing pre-ceremony songs: I can love u like that, Fly me to the moon, grow old w me (if things are running late, might want to delay a bit…) | |
| 5:05 | Sister & Bridesmaid | Bridesmaid will call Sister to say we are outside hall. Sister will ask Friend5 to shut off music and ask Niece2 to start playing Moon River. Sister will confirm everyone is ready to go (this is the ‘Moon River’ people below) | |
| 5:05 | Friend5 | Turns off ipod (it shouldn’t be playing at this point but just in case we are running late and there has been a gap where music came back on, it needs to be turned off here) | |
| 5:05 | Niece2 | Niece2 starts playing Moon River | |
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MOON RIVER IS THE SIGNAL THAT THE CEREMONY IS ABOUT TO BEGIN |
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| Moon River | BrotherinLaw, Mr & Mrs. B, Niece1, Niece3 | Take seats when they hear Moon River | |
| Moon River | Guests | Take the hint and sit down (if not, Nephew1/Nephew2 will ask them to) | |
| Moon River | DogWrangler Dog Brother | Leave Hall, check in with Limo, DogWrangler dresses Dog up | |
| Moon River | Nephew1 | Takes spot at door for ceremony (opens for procession and also assists latecomers if necessary) | |
| Moon River | Groom and groomsmen | Take spots at front by end of song | |
| Moon River | Officiant(JP) | Takes spot at front by end of song | |
| Moon River | Sister | Takes seat by end of song | |
| Moon River | Friend2 & Photgrapher | Prep for ceremony | |
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CEREMONY |
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| Brother | Confirms with Nephew1/Nephew2 that we are ready to go | ||
| Niece2 | Starts Playing ‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’ | ||
| Nephew1 | Opens door | ||
| DogWrangler and Dog | Walk down the aisle | ||
| Nephew1 | Once Dog is in place and DogWrangler sits down, motions to Bridesmaid | ||
| Bridesmaid | Walks | ||
| Nephew1 | Once Bridesmaid is halfway down aisle, motions to MOH2 | ||
| MOH2 | Walks | ||
| Nephew1 | Once MOH2 is halfway down aisle, motions to MOH1 (lets door close after) | ||
| MOH1 | Walks | ||
| Niece2 | Finishes song, starts ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ | ||
| Nephew1 | Opens door, stays at door during ceremony to assist with latecomer, crying babies etc. | ||
| Brother and Bride | Brother and Bride stand in doorway until appropriate spot in song and then walk down aisle??
Brother and Bride stop just past end of seats |
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| Brother, Bride, Groom, Officiant | Groom shakes Brother’s hand and then takes Bride’s arm??
Brother takes seat, Song ends, Officiant starts ceremony |
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| Officiant, Bride, Groom | Opening Spiel, ‘I Do’s | ||
| BrotherinLaw | Scripture Reading | ||
| Officiant, Bride, Groom | Vows, Rings | ||
| Friend7 Friend4 Bride Groom Officiant Witnesses: MOH2 MOH1 BM2 BM1 | Signing of Registry, Friend7 and Friend4 perform ‘Friday I’m in Love’ | ||
| Officiant, Bride Groom MOH1 MOH2 BM1 BM2 Bridesmaid Groomsman Niece2 | End of ceremony, Intro of married couple, Niece2 plays L-O-V-E for recessional (straight out doors for photos)??
First Bride and Groom go out, then (in pairs, take arms) MOH1/BM1, BM2/MOH2, Groomsman/Bridesmaid |
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| Officiant | ‘I have been asked to invite you all to enjoy some refreshments while the new couple and the wedding party have photographs taken. Also, I was asked to mention that some photos will also be taken here in this room. Please wait until the photos are finished before greeting the bride and groom. Gentlemen, please drop the chairs off at the tables on your way to the martini bar.’ | ||
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MARTINIS AND MUSIC |
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| Friend5 | Starts CD again??
Moves sound system, microphone to appropriate spot for toasts (check with Sister if not sure) |
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| Brother | Gives envelope to Officiant | ||
| Sister | Makes sure people go to bar etc??
Band may show up at this point and need help – Friend5 and Friend7 may be able to help them out too if they aren’t getting ready to play song |
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| Niece1, Niece3 | Back to guest book table, gift table supervision until everyone has hit it, provide seating info to guests | ||
| Nephew1/Nephew2 | Provide seating info to guests | ||
| BrotherinLaw Nephew2 Niece3 Niece1 Niece2 Nephew1 etc | Bring out appies for cocktail time | ||
| Groomsman | Someone gets martinis for wedding party and delivers once they re-enter hall | ||
| Groom Bride BM1 BM2 Groomsman MOH1 MOH2 Bridesmaid | Wedding Party re-enters hall, more photos taken | ||
| DogWrangler or Friend1 | Drives Dog home and returns before reception starts at 7pm | ||
| 6:25 | Brother | Checks with Sister that dinner is really starting at 7 and that band is ready to perform song (check with Friend5). Tells Wedding Party & photographer (if still taking photos) so they don’t miss performance | |
| 6:30 | Brother Friend 5, 6, 7 | Brother asks Friend5 to turn music off and then goes to mic Introduces himself, asks guests to please be seated by 7pm because we’re hoping to eat dinner and have all of the toasts done by 9pm. Introduce Friend5/Friend6/Friend7 who will perform a song | |
| 6:30 | Guests | Last minute bathroom breaks, smoking, etc. Find out seating if they haven’t yet. | |
| 6:30 | BrotherinLaw Nephew2 Niece3 Niece1 Niece2 Nephew1 etc | Clears up appetizer stuff | |
| 6:40 | Friend5 | Turns music back on (but quieter for dinner?) | |
| 6:55 | Family Table Head Table etc | Takes seats to give hint that dinner is starting | |
| 6:55 | Sister | Light candles at family table and then dim lights | |
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DINNER |
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| 7:00 | Brother | Welcome guests on behalf of the MOB and the Bride &Groom, welcomes Grooms’ parents. Invites people to light candles at table if haven’t already??
Introduce the Wedding Party, Family Announce dinner. Explains that toasts will start once everyone has had a chance to sit down again and that if anyone wants to give a toast they should talk to BM1 and MOH1 (introduce them as emcees for the remainder of the evening). INTRODUCES BrotherinLaw, Grace |
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| 7:00 | BrotherinLaw | SAYS GRACE??
Explain the ORDER OF EATING (HEAD TABLE FIRST THEN TABLE #1 AND ONWARDS), Invites head table to go to buffet |
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| 7:00 – 7:40 | HEAD TABLE, GUESTS | Go through buffet | |
| 7:20 | EMCEE (BM1 OR MOH1) | BM1 and MOH1 incorporate any new toasts into agenda | |
| 7:40 or 5 mins before start of toasts | BM1 OR MOH1 | Reminder to pop champagne, open wine for toasts in 5 minutes??
First toast of the evening will be the champagne toast |
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| ?7:45 OR EARLIER WHENEVER FEELS RIGHT… | EMCEES, Friend5 | OFFICIAL BEGINNING OF SPEECHES/TOASTS??
Ask Friend5 to turn off music BM1 & MOH1 up at microphone together and re-introduce themselves. Introduction to this part of the program (emphasis on short time period, ask people who want to give toasts to check in with them, etc) BM1 introduces Bride’s out of town guests MOH1 introduces Groom’s out of town guests Toast to the Bride and Groom Humorous anecdotes etc |
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| 7:55 | Groom | The groom stands, thanks the MC and guests, thanks for gifts, and then proposes a toast to his bride. | |
| 8:00 | Bride | The bride stands, thanks the groom and guests, and then proposes a toast to her parents and her new in-laws. | |
| 8:05 | BM1 | Thanks bride and toasts bridesmaids | |
| 8:10 | MOH1 | Thanks BM1 and toasts groomsmen | |
| 8:15 | BM1 and MOH1 | Then the MC may introduce any guests who wish to propose their own toasts (if applicable) – can not be more than 3!??
Explain Groom and Bride will come around to say hello to everyone (if there is going to be time for this).? |
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| 8:20 | MOH2 Groomsman BM2 Bridesmaid | PREP FOR FINAL TOAST PRIOR TO DANCING _ JAGERMEISTER TOAST – WEDDING PARTY WILL HAVE BOTTLES and SHOT GLASSES (WEDDING FAVORS) UNDER HEAD TABLE, THEY WILL PREPARE | |
| 8:45 | BM1 and MOH1 | Confirms band is ready to begin right after Brother’s toast before starting this section and that shots are ready.??
Explain next part of evening’s program – Brother will give final toast, then BM2cing will start, cake cutting at 10pm etc Introduce Brother |
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| 8:50 | Brother | (Emcees will have just finished talking and will introduce Brother) Brother stands at this point, thanks everyone for their toasts, gives a toast on behalf of the MOB (not Jagermeister), thanks everyone for attending, introduces the band | |
| 8:55 | MOH2 Groomsman BM2 Bridesmaid | Distribute Jagermeister to tables – give to people whether they want it or not because it’s their favor? Or have a couple of empties on their tray? | |
| 8:59 | Brother | Invites everyone to take a shot of Jagermeister (this will be set up so all guests receive a shot right before you start speaking), and announces that the festivities may now begin. | |
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BM2CING |
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| 9:00 | BAND AND BAND??
BRIDE AND GROOM MotherinLaw Mom MOH2 BM1 MOH1 BM2 Bridesmaid Groomsman |
Band introduces himself, invites couple to BM2ce floor??
Groom and Bride’s first BM2ce – Song 1 Brother and Bride and Groom and MotherinLaw – Song 2 Brother and Mom, Mr & MotherinLaw and Bride and Groom – Song 3 Rest of wedding party Friend1ins in (MOH2/BM1, MOH1/BM2, Bridesmaid/Groomsman – Second half of Song 3 Wedding party BM2ces with guests (Bride/Groom, Mom/Wayne, Brother/Sister, Mr & MotherinLaw, Bridesmaid/BrotherinLaw etc) and Niece1/Derrick etc Friend1in in, everyone else Friend1ins in…. please tell your BM2cing partners about this so they are ready to ‘cut in’ If not, go out to audience and grab them! |
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| 10:00 | CAKE CUTTING | ? | |
| 10:00 | BAND AND BAND | Band and band eat their dinner | |
| 11:00 | GARTER/BOUQUET TOSS | ALSO EXPLANATION OF WHO GETS TO TAKE CENTERPIECES/ETC HOME??? | |
| 12 | Emcees | End of live music, EMCEES invite guests to give Band and band a big round of applause (if they were good!)??
EMCEES THANKS EVERYONE AGAIN AND EXPLAIN HAVE TO BE OUT BY ONE- Say where the list of cab numbers is (you will know from when we set up the bar) ETC |
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| 12 | Friend5 | Friend5 turns music back on | |
| 12 | ? | BAR SHUTS DOWN, BARTENDERS PACK UP??
GIFTS LOADED INTO CAR -WHO WILL DRIVE GIFTS/MR & MRS B HOME? COLLECTION OF ANYTHING THAT IS OWNED BY BRIDE/GROOM AND SENT HOME BRIDE, GROOM LEAVE FOR HOTEL We are responsible for removing empties- any volunteers? |
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[...] get flack from my friends for my schedules (you should see my wedding schedule) but they allow me to go into potentially stressful situations feeling calm so I think they are [...]